Tomorrow

I thought I’d figured it all out. I thought I had made the perfect plan. Sure I was struggling but that’s just life. And then I wasn’t in law school anymore. And everything shattered and fell apart. Tomorrow didn’t seem certain anymore. Tomorrow seemed like a vague idea amongst the shards of ruined glass on the floor.

Now I’m sitting in a room with floor to ceiling windows looking at the calm amongst the bustle of the city, and I wonder if life is just a series of metaphors strung together like pearls on a necklace.

As of two weeks ago, I am no longer a law student. Instead I am free-falling through my own feelings, emotions, through the turbulence that growing up has to offer so I can figure out what comes next.

In the past two weeks, I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to be ok with the concept of different plans for tomorrow. Figuring out what to do next and how to move forward when you just simply cannot see through the war fog of today. Inevitably, however, the fog clears, and you are left with clarity or at least the hopes of it.

I know what happens tomorrow. In the metaphorical sense. I will apply to graduate school and I will be ok. Tomorrow has come into sharper focus as I realise that sometimes life happens against your will, and that means that you have to readjust.

Readjusting the plan can be painful. It is hard to process, to make sense of it and to move forward with your head held high when you just feel like crumpling yourself up into a corner and not moving again.

I came here to write this because I felt like I just needed to say it here. But the truth is, I’m not really ready to talk about it. I don’t really have any profound wisdom to share except that going through it is better than trying to go around it.

— Liora